April and Randy dot com

Randy and I saw “Batman Begins” twice this past weekend (yeah, it’s that good!) and I was really struck by one of the lines spoken by Batman: “It’s not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me.” I’ve been thinking about that concept for some time. Socrates said it this way: “You are what you do everyday, therefore excellence is a habit.” In juxtaposing those ideas, it seems that one is defined by what one does everyday. If that’s true, what does that say about who I am? What do I do everyday?

I can say that my faith in God is central to me, but if I don’t take the time to thank Him every morning for another day of life, am I too self-reliant? I can say that I love my husband, but if I don’t find a way to show him everyday, how much do I really mean it? I can say that I want to be healthier, but if day after day I choose to sleep in instead of getting up early to work out, is it really all that important to me? Somehow I find time for the things I really want to do (like see “Batman Begins” twice in one weekend, surf the web) and for what has to get done (like feed the cats, do laundry), and although there’s nothing wrong with these things, that’s not what I want my life to be about.

It’s not the question of “What will they put on your gravestone?” or “How will you be thought of when you die?” It’s more egocentric than that to be honest. Do I do what I claim is important to me? Even though I’m approaching middle age, I’ve only just realized that I shouldn’t wait for my life to begin; it’s already happening and I’m late to the performance.

Perhaps this is just a sign that I’m finally growing up, realizing that my daily actions and decisions are the stuff from which lifelong patterns are made. I’ve been weaving the pattern of my life and am only now stepping back to see what it looks like.

Lists help me get things done. I have a weekly list of chores that I try to stick to and it’s worked wonders at keeping our home reasonably clean. I’m going to work on a new list — a short list of the things that I say matter the most to me and everyday, I’m going to do something to show that I value each item on that list. I’m hoping these small daily efforts help me to be the woman I want to be and that what’s underneath shows in what I do.