Years ago, I had a friend who told me that one of the things he liked about me was that I would look him in the eye, almost in a stare, while he was talking to me. Although I’d like to think I don’t do that with such intensity anymore because it freaks people out, I think there’s some truth in my saying that I don’t focus so hard on anyone because I’ve learned to be perpetually distracted.
Over on leaveitbehind.com, Brian has written a great essay about undivided attention. I particularly like this part:
Is there anything we crave more than someone’s undivided attention? We have perfected the art of ignoring our fellow human beings. Those we don’t ignore outright, we demean by our distraction. We act as if we are at the mercy of our tools and toys - that every cell phone call must be answered, every email read, every new post consumed and commented on, and every show or sporting event experienced in real-time.
Guilty as charged, Brian.
When Randy was in youth ministry and needed to get a point across to a distracted young child, he would take his own index and middle finger (like he was making the sign for “2″), point the fingers to the child’s eyes and draw the child’s eyes back to his own eyes. Only then would he say whatever needed to be said as he knew he had the child’s attention. I don’t doubt that Randy has been tempted to use the technique with me at times. Seriously, our cats do better than I do at focusing on one thing at a time.
Even now, I’m fighting the urge to check my bloglines account to see what new things my RSS feeds have brought to me. My love for gathering information can be useful but like anything, it can be twisted to the dark side. I’ve taken multi-tasking to the point of being a whirling dervish except that instead of reaching religious ecstacy, I’m just not doing anything very well.
I’ve written before about making an effort to put into practice the things that I claim are important to me. I guess the next step is to work at doing those things deliberately and without distraction.
Hmm. . .this is going to take some real effort.