What stops me? Right now I have a million things I should be doing but I’m not doing them. In fact, I’m doing unimportant busy work. There are times when I think if I can just get everything organized or planned out, I’ll have everything under control. That is my struggle, as it is to most of us — we have the hubris to believe that we can control our lives. I want to make things happen when I want them to happen.
I was reminded on Sunday morning by a friend about what the Apostle Paul had to say about this struggle:
Romans 7:18-24 (from The Message) I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?
I don’t believe that being disorganized is a sin but I’m starting to see that it is more the misuse of the resource of my time that is wrong. Perhaps I am hiding behind the disorganization to keep from being fully utilized by God. I’m holding on to the reins of my life as if I could really control the mayhem that tosses and turns me.
Romans 7:25 - 8:1&2 (from The Message) The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.
What a relief to know that everything is not up to me. I don’t have enough willpower to make the changes in my life that need to happen. Perhaps my constant journey to self-improvement needs to be turned more consistently towards spiritual discipline. I have a strong suspicion that a healthier spiritual life will put my “to do” list in proper perspective.
Wow! So many times I read your blog and think, “That’s just what I needed today.” Well, today it was REALLY what I needed. I worry so much. Thank you for reminding me that, “The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.” That puts things into perspective. Thank you.
Thank you, Karen. Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do without the encouragement of the Holy Spirit. The hard part for me is keeping things in perspective especially when I’m stressed out. I suppose that’s exactly when I need to call on High for help the most.