In one of the many books I’m reading right now, I came across a great quote, “You cannot change and stay the same simultaneously.” Although this sounds very, very obvious, I believe that it is the fundamental stumbling block for people who want something new in their lives but can’t seem to get it.
I believe we literally and figuratively want to have our cake and eat it too. If that weren’t the case why would sweeteners like Splenda® be so popular? How many low-carb. products have hit the shelves so we wouldn’t be tempted to give up bread or ice cream? We want to be healthier but we don’t want to give up the foods that are deemed unhealthy.
I believe the idea of change is a very romantic one. People like to imagine the possibilities of things being different. As human beings, we are very adaptable to change, especially when it is put upon us. However, making a change is very different than wanting or dreaming of a change. I like the idea of being physically fit and looking great in a bikini, however, does this desire outweigh the habit of staying up late and sleeping in instead of getting up to get on the treadmill? Recently it hasn’t.
A former co-worker of mine had a sign in his cubicle stating that change occurs only when a person is made uncomfortable enough. I believe that is true. The downside of being adaptable is that we learn to put up with a lot of crap and until it becomes unbearable, or outside forces come in to play, we’ll put up with it instead of making a change. I’ve worked with people who hate their jobs, but until something happens which is “the last straw” they won’t send out a single resume. I’ve had friends in terrible relationships who are abused but refuse to set boundaries or end the relationship. Of course it doesn’t have to be that drastic to still be true. I needed a haircut weeks ago, but until I started having to creatively use scarves as headbands to make my grown out style look purposeful, I didn’t get in to see my hair stylist.
Change comes with a cost which at the very least is discomfort and I suppose at most is death. Unless change is thrust upon us, making a change for ourselves has to do with actually weighing the cost versus the outcome. I believe most of us would rather default to staying the same. Sure, we may buy the new fangled vacuum cleaner in hopes that our home will miraculously clean itself, but in the end, that baby-step towards change isn’t quite enough. We may be willing to spend the money on a gadget when the true cost of a real change would involve time and physical exertion as well.
Instead of looking at this from this pessimistic view, perhaps we should see things more in the light of “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” To see change as an adventure somehow makes the cost seem like less of an issue as the focus is put on the end result. Instead of mulling over the cupcake I shouldn’t eat, I could consider the cute denim skirt I’m trying to fit into. With my dear friend Leslie moving farther away to Jacksonville, I can reflect on the great opportunity it will be for her family and her and see it as a new vacation destination instead four more hours away than before.
I suppose as true in most things, attitude is everything. Change will occur whether I want it and can occur if I help it. The question is how will I choose to see the process? Will I count the cost or focus on creating the end result? I’ve found that for the things that are most worthwhile, the cost is usually more than we’re prepared for but well worth it all in the end.