What makes a hero a hero or a heroine and heroine? According to Webster, a heroine is “a woman admired and emulated for her achievements and qualities.” On a recent “get to know you” type of questionnaire, I was asked to identify my favorite heroine and to be honest, I had to give it a lot of thought.
Although there seem to be a plethora of heroes to choose from, be it classic ones such as Thomas Jefferson, Batman or St. Francis of Assisi, heroines seem to be far and few between. Either they are almost reliant on their hero counterpart (e.g., Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler), are almost out of reach like a superhero (e.g., Wonderwoman, Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc, etc.) or are strong women but value things which I don’t (Hillary Rodham Clinton, Mary Daly).
I chose the character of Elinor Dashwood from Jane Austen’s “Sense and Sensibility” as my favorite heroine. Granted my understanding of this character is based solely on the film adaptation by Emma Thompson, but the script did win an Academy Award so it must be somewhat true to the sprit of Austen’s novel. Elinor has traits that I admire: intelligence, wit, devotion, insight, and loyalty. She is true to her word and kind to those who may not deserve it. What most impresses me about Elinor is her quiet inner-strength and determination. She feels things deeply but doesn’t wear her feelings on her sleeve. She is sensible, as Jane Austen would have us see.
Perhaps there are so few heroines these days as we women somehow believe we must be super-women who do it all and do it well. Keeping house is no longer good enough as we have Martha Stewart and a half-dozen television channels telling us how we can cook, clean, organize and decorate better. Motherhood has become a competition between women instead of a cooperative effort. We must be good mothers, friends, wives, citizens, daughters, workers, managers, and volunteers, not only doing all with no complaint, but juggling all so well that we make it all seem effortless. The last couple of generations of women are selling themselves short. In our effort to do it all well, we’ve lost the ability to see anyone as exceptional.
I’m not downplaying the importance of women’s equality in the workplace, or women’s right to vote, but we taken being equal so far as that no one is remarkable, even women to other women. I don’t believe it’s poor form to “specialize” and just do a few things well. I know for me, I’d rather have my gravestone say “Beloved wife and mother” than “She did it all.” Perhaps some of Elinor Dashwood’s sensibility has rubbed on me after all.