There is a beginning and an end to all things. We’ve experienced so many goodbyes and hellos that I thought they wouldn’t faze me too much anymore. I was very mistaken.
Our recent goodbye was to our cat Eldar who had been fighting kidney failure for well over a year. Randy had adopted her as a kitten the year before we were married and so she was a part of our life together from the start. Looking back, if he hadn’t adopted her before we were married, we probably would have never gotten a cat as I’m allergic but luckily for us, she was part of the package.
If we didn’t have cats, we may not have considered eventually becoming parents. As a youth minister years ago, Randy was in charge of the Parenting Ministry at our congregation but since we weren’t parents, we just participated as others taught. Our classmates were very patient with us as each week we would report on how our new parenting methods and techniques would work and all we could practice on were our cats. (They did respond well by the way.)
We miss our girl as do our boy cats Avalon and Maximus. We’re thankful for the “extra” time we got with her and for the blessing she was to our daily lives.
Our recent hello was to our unborn baby. Although we’ve been married for over ten years, we’d never taken the plunge into parenthood (well, besides our cats which even we know isn’t the same). This news of my pregnancy was a shock albeit not a complete surprise. I believe that the sudden beginning of life can be just as traumatic as the sudden end of life, even when either event is expected.
We had our first ultrasound and got to see the baby and hear its heartbeat. How strange it was to see it and try to make out its different features. Even with the printout of some of the screenshots, it’s hard for us to really believe that we’re going to have a baby. Someday that little alien-looking being is going to call us “Dad and Mom.” How bizarre.
For now, we’re in a state of limbo, a state of waiting. The sadness for our loss of Eldar has affected the happiness we feel for our new baby. As time passes, our mourning will ebb away. As time passes, our excitement to meet our child will grow. I don’t like goodbyes but I do love hellos.